Are You To Blame For Your Own Heartbreak?

I was reading a post online the other day from a woman wondering if she should get back together with her boyfriend or not. It shocked me. There's no other way to put it. It was written in one long paragraph which made it very difficult to read, but that's beside the point. My amazement came from the words on the page as the story unfolded before me.

It was the story of a woman who was dating a guy, found some messages from another girl on his phone, and discovered he was cheating on her. They broke up and two months later got back together. The guy then starts flirting with some other girls, but assures her it's harmless. Well, once a rat always a rat and he cheated on her again. It's really over this time, right?

Wrong.

A month or two later she takes him back again. This time he goes off to college. She finds messages on his Myspace page from another girl. As usual, he says it's nothing. She finds out he's cheating again. Another split, then back together yet again. This story continues like this through 5 or 6 breakups and reconnections.

What amazed me was her question at the end, "Should I take him back?"

It really got me thinking. How blind does love make a woman that she would go through that time and time again rather than be with someone who treats her right? Is the fear of the unknown so powerful that pain and heartbreak are the better option? Everyone deserves a second chance, but a third, fourth, fifth, or sixth chance? No way.

There are a couple key points I think can be taken away from this story when it comes to relationships.

First, for the most part people don't change. Yes, there's stories of people who turn their life completely around, but those stories are rare. For the most part, people are who they are, and they don't change much. If you're in a relationship with a man and you are hoping or expecting him to change, it is likely you will be holding your breathe until you suffocate. A person's actions will ALWAYS speak louder than their words.

Secondly, and most importantly, you must ask yourself how much of your heartbreak is your own fault? In the story, is there anyone to blame for the woman's heartbreak, but herself?

What her man did was entirely inappropriate and wrong, yet he gave her every indication of how he was time and time again, and she accepted it. By taking him back, she accepted his actions as being ok. She alone put herself in harm's way time and time again, giving up her heart to be shattered over and over until there was nothing left.

Truth be known in life, we get what we put up with. Remember that.

If your relationship with a man isn't what you feel it should be, then change it. Learn everything you can about understanding men, You deserve the world and you know it. Don't accept anything less. Ask yourself, "Am I the one to blame for my own heartbreak?"


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