Should I Text My Ex? 5 Things You Should Know Before You Do

Published: 27th March 2012
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You've given it a lot of thought and you've decided you and your ex have something special that's worth fighting for. You never wanted a breakup in the first place, but now that it's happened you want to do everything you can to salvage it. But you're left with one pressing question, "Should I text my ex?"

If you've read much relationship advice online, you may have developed a negative view of texting when it comes to breakups and trying to get your ex back. Most experts tell you not to do it. They fear you will say the wrong thing or do it in the wrong way and end up scaring your ex away for good.

They could be right, but avoiding text messages altogether when communicating with your ex greatly limits your ability to win them back. After all, sending text messages through an iPhone or other smart phone is one of the most powerful forms of communication we have. You and your ex probably sent texts all day long when you were together.

While sending text messages to your ex isn't always a good idea, simply writing it off as useless would be a poor decision. When done in the right way text messages can increase passion and romance, heal old wounds, create desire and intimacy, turn your ex's negative emotions into something positive, and open your ex to the idea of being with you again. And they can do it all without being pushy or intrusive.

So should you text your ex? Yes, if you stick to a few key principles I'm about to share with you. If you follow the principles below, you'll have a much greater chance of having a positive texting experience with your ex.

Should I Text My Ex? 5 Key Principles

1.) Text your ex only after you've been out of contact for at least a month. This is commonly referred to as the "no contact rule" and gives you the opportunity to decide what you truly want. It also let's all the "stuff" from your past relationship die down so you're not dealing with uncontrolled emotions from yourself or from your ex.

2.) Text your ex only if they still show emotion toward you. It can be positive or negative emotion, but there must be emotion. An apathetic (showing no emotion good or bad) ex will be extremely difficult to win back and it's better to just move on when that's the case.

3.) Text your ex only if you can accept you may not get a response. Not getting a response (especially to your first few texts) is normal and nothing to worry about.

In fact, your first few texts should be formatted in a way that doesn't put any pressure on your ex to respond. Just because your ex doesn't respond doesn't mean your messages aren't having an effect.

4.) Never text your ex more than twice in a row without getting a response. Sending multiple texts such as, "Did you get my message?", "Why aren't you responding?", "I've sent you 3 texts and haven't heard back from you yet", is a big no-no so don't do it.

5.) Text your ex only if you're willing to be the first to end the conversation. Whoever says the last word is the person who has the power in the relationship.

You can respond in different ways depending on whether you get a positive, negative, or neutral response from your ex, but you should always be the first to end the conversation with something like, "Ok, gotta run. Talk later." Never get into big, long discussions with your ex over text messages when you're trying to win them back (even if the conversation is going really good).


Next, here's an awesome text message technique you can use to text your ex back. If you really want to learn how to get your ex back with the help of your iPhone or other smart phone, here are some super cool, cutting-edge texting tips and techniques that are working right now: Text Your Ex Back Ebook

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