Text Your Ex Back - Here's 5 Tips To Help You Get Started

Published: 16th February 2012
Views: N/A

When learning how to get your ex back after a breakup, text messages can be your most powerful ally or your worst enemy. When used in the wrong way, text messages can further alienate your ex and push your relationship beyond repair. When used in the right way, text messages can help you reconnect with your ex and can open your ex up to the idea of being with you again.

Text messages are literally a "push button" solution which makes them super cool and appealing. However, it also means they can get you in trouble in a hurry if you're not careful.

People are addicted to their cell phones. They have them at their side every minute of every day (even while they sleep). This gives you an incredible window of opportunity to seduce your ex back into your life...if you know what you're doing.

5 Starting Points For Getting Your Ex Back Using Text Messages

If you're going to use text messages to get your ex back, there are some important things to keep in mind.

1.) Get Back Together With Your Ex For The Right Reasons

Before you begin to text your ex, you need to make sure you're getting back together for the right reasons.

So, what are the right reasons?

Michael Fiore, relationship expert and author of Text Your Ex Back, states the right reasons occur when "...you legitimately miss and appreciate your ex, feel like you've got a real connection, and feel like the reasons you broke up are things you can resolve, accept, or move past." Never try to get back with an ex who is emotionally or physical abusive or to satisfy your own ego.

2.) Have Realistic Expectations

Learning how to get your ex back using text messages (or any other method for that matter) takes time and work. It will require patience.

Understand there is no single "magic text" that will immediately bring your ex crawling back to you. You also must realize there's no guarantee you will get your ex back. You must be willing to accept that possibility.

3.) Understand The Breakup And Have Clear Goals

Before you use text messages to get your ex back, it's important to understand why you broke up in the first place and have clear goals for what you hope to achieve by repairing the relationship.

During this step, it's important to be completely honest with yourself. The reason you want your ex back doesn't have to be fairy tale romantic, but it needs to be clear and honest.

For example, it might be something like, "I want my ex back because no one has ever understood me as much as they have" or "I want my ex back because I care about them so much and can't stand the thought of them being with someone else".

4.) The "No Contact" Rule Still Applies

If you've read any relationship advice about how to get your ex back after a breakup, you've probably come across the "no contact" rule. While many different variations of the rule exist, it generally states something like, "Never contact your ex after a breakup for at least a month."

When using text messages to get your ex back, the same rule applies. By not contacting your ex right away, you give them a chance to miss you. You also allow time for both you and your ex to sort out your emotions.

If you try to text too soon, then you risk letting heightened emotions dictate what you say and do which runs the risk of making you come across as needy and/or desperate. It can also lead to more fighting if you and your ex haven't had a chance to cool down.

5.) Never Use A "Nothing Text" To Initiate The Conversation

Once you know what your goals are, it's time to send out that all important first text. A few things to keep in mind during your first few texts include:

*Don't be needy or desperate.It's ok (and normal) if you don't get a response.

*Be positive and upbeat rather than trying to get into a serious conversation about the relationship right from the get go.

*Validate your ex's feelings. Never tell your ex what they are feeling is wrong or stupid. They're entitled to feel the way they feel even if you see things a different way.

Relationship expert Michael Fiore recommends using an "across the bow" text to get the conversation started and says to stay away from "nothing texts" at all costs.

Nothing texts are simply texts that don't really say anything and don't create any curiosity or hook for a response. These are things like "Hi" or "What's up?" and are a very common mistake people make when trying to text an ex.

An "across the bow" text is simply a text that let's your ex know you are thinking about them, you don't have any ill feelings toward them, and you aren't needy or desperate (even if you feel like you are).

For example, it could be something like, "I just drove by a group of horses and it made me think of you and smile because I know how much you love to go riding. Hope you're doing great." These types of texts are positive and not pushy. They don't demand a response so your ex can respond if they want, but they won't feel pressured to do so.

While the above will help you get started, there's still much more to know about how to get your ex back through text messages.


Next, here's how to win your ex back. If you really want your ex back, discover how to use tiny text messages sent from your cell phone to create attraction, heal old wounds, and bring back romance and intimacy so you can start fresh with your ex. Most experts say never text your ex after a breakup. This could be the one exception: Text Your Ex Back

Report this article Ask About This Article

More to Explore